Naked Soul Thoughts recount the journeys of my life and soul. I try to tell my experiences both with facts and with the insight of time and grace. I have made mistakes and I have gotten a few things right. I hurt others along the way and others have hurt me. This blog tells some hard stories. It is meant to give insight and compassion to the struggles of being human. And if someone says ‘oh, I get that’ and sees some light or compassion for their own lives, I am glad. And I also present how I finally reached closure on things from fifty years ago. Each person’s journey is their own, but we all have access to processes and tools that can help.
In early 2013, my husband and I agreed to divorce. In late 2013 I moved out. I was not in good shape. I had agreed to the divorce only because I no longer saw any hope of resolving the issues. Continuing to live in a hopeless situation was tearing me apart.
My boss at the time lent me a series of CDs by Shawn Achor. The set was entitled The Happiness Advantage. I eventually purchased it for myself on Audible. I can’t say that I absorbed everything right away, but I did absorb one critical concept during the first listening.
- To create change in yourself, you need to change your outlook. Shawn Achor describes that with a reference to Archimedes principle or law of the lever. Archimedes postulated that one could lift anything with a lever long enough and a fulcrum properly placed.
- Shawn Achor applies that concept to happiness. Not the “Yay, I won the lottery” kind of happiness, but internal, spiritual happiness. Instead of focusing on the negative, reframe your thinking to focus on the positive.
Obviously, that’s an over simplification, but I took it to heart and started moving my fulcrum to find gratitude. I started writing gratitude cards every morning. A lot of days, I had to press myself to write three things on those cards.
Today, I know longer use index cards. I have journals in which I sometimes write many pages daily. In fact, I only use the journals when I don’t have access to my computer. Mainly, I switched because my handwriting is atrocious. I have trouble reading a lot of what I have written by hand. That’s a problem when I want to go back and remind myself of things that I have realized.
Addendum of July 3, 2021
From my flaws I am learning my passion and my mission/calling. I am refining how I want to use this space. That is: addressing the experience of anxiety internally and externally. To address it internally I use a toolbox of skills. I am an expert on very few things, but I can speak with authority about living with and managing anxiety. So, I plan to come here with my naked soul and talk about how I do that. I know what it looks like managed, but I lived a long time without it being well-managed. So, hopefully, I can give insights to those who have anxiety and those who love someone with anxiety.
I have been trying to identify my calling, specifically, how I can best serve God. After being away from God for years and from the Catholic faith even longer, I want to dedicate myself more to a calling at this point in my life. My heart tells me that providing a faith forum that talks frankly about anxiety is my calling.
So, this will also remain a place where I explore questions of faith. Anxiety and faith are inseparable for me, because each profoundly impacts the other in my life.
Though I have talked about anxiety before, I wrote a post a few days ago about how I handled misplacing something with my “toolbox” versus how I would have handled it a year ago. I think it’s a piece anxiety sufferers will identify with. And it might provide insight for those who love anxious people. Check out ‘Where are my hotdogs?’
Naked Soul Thoughts 