Everything is turning upside down. What I thought was certain, I’m doubting. What I thought I knew, seems foreign. The path I took looked promising, but led back to the beginning. Pleasing progress now presents as pride’s folly.
Am I going forward or just falling down? Am I striving for a better me, or just convincing myself that I am?
Do I even know my real flaws? Am I working on the right things? Have I asked the great artist for guidance, or just relied on my limited knowledge?
I keep falling into traps of my own making. As a technical writer, I couldn’t read the manual until I wrote it. The engineer’s notes always left out details. Is that where my stubborn determination to solve things alone comes from?
And testing software, wasn’t it a skill to find things the engineer didn’t consider anyone would try? Didn’t I and others see it as an accomplishment to prevent future failures?
Wasn’t it a source of pride? Oh, yes, pride. Taking pride in a job well done. Taking pride in contributing to quality, safety, and security of the product.
But pride can get in the way. Lead to overconfidence. Contribute to the very quality failures one seeks to avoid.
Why is it so much easier to stumble when pride mixes with faith? I’m tired of learning life the hard way. And maybe it’s time I trusted the great artist, the engineer of all life and started asking questions–and listening for wiser answers.
Naked Soul Thoughts 